When God Says Yes

How many times does God say Yes and I don’t even see it? He is constantly working and I just take it for granted. What if I took the time to really consider how many times God says Yes in a day? What would that look like? 

But I asked for 150 

I serve as a lay person doing women’s ministry at our church alongside our executive pastor’s wife. We are a good team because we complement one another. That’s a nice way of saying I am loud and she presents herself with a much quieter calm. 

We had the pleasure of hosting Wendy Speake April 13th at our Ladies Spring Outreach. This was the third event we had organized together. And would be a big jump from the previous two brunches we hosted. Don’t get me wrong, the previous two were lovely, but now we were raising the stakes, inviting and accommodating a known author who had published several books.  

The morning went as well as we could have hoped. It was beautiful to see ladies serve alongside one another, worship together, fellowship, and respond in abundance to the Word they heard. I left feeling so full of gratitude. I just wanted to bask in the goodness of the Lord.  

But then sometime in the evening, there was a little bit of a letdown. I had asked God for 150 ladies to come. We had been praying about the event for months. Wendy’s availability alone was God saying yes. But only about 100 came. So on Sunday when my pastor tried to encourage me about the success, I said “yea, but I asked for 150.” 

100 plus 50 equals 150 

If you remember from last week’s blog, When God Says No, Pastor Tom is convinced we are praying too small because God is able to do far more abundantly than we ask or think according to the power at work in us. (Ephesians 3:20,21). And I shared about my own struggle with God’s willingness to say yes to me. I asked for 150 to come and only 100 came. So I was tempted to revert back to my old doubts that left me feeling like God was able but wasn’t willing to say yes to me and what I wanted.  

As soon as the words, “yea, but I asked for 150” left my mouth, the Holy Spirit zinged me. Do you know what it feels like to get a zinger from the Holy Spirit? It doesn’t feel good, but it is His way of convicting us to get our thoughts and attitudes back in line with Truth. So what the Holy Spirit was saying was, “How long are you going to doubt me? I did abundantly more than you asked and you still don’t see it?” 

Then He helped me to see His YES is better than what I even asked. I asked for 150 and God gave 100 plus 50. There were 100 ladies in attendance and 50 of them came forward with a response of salvation, rededication, or bringing burdens to the cross with the intention of leaving them at the feet of Jesus. This response was definitely far more abundant than I could have imagined. Why do I continue to doubt? I do not deserve the longsuffering nature of my Lord but He still shows me grace. His mercies are new every morning in the form of so many yesses.  

God says Yes, but sometimes I miss it 

This prompted me to consider when else is God saying yes and I have just missed it? I am embarrassed to say this consideration took me longer than it should have. It brought up cynical, dark days when I spent a good amount of time really not liking the word blessed. People say they are blessed when what they really mean is, “I am praising God for saying yes to what I wanted.” And every time I heard it, I wondered if they would praise God even if He had said no. Last week we when we looked at God saying no to what I wanted, I told you how devastating that was. For nine years I struggled under the weight of grief and refused to say I was blessed. I know that sounds petty, especially since I was functioning fairly well with the coexistence of joy and sorrow. But the way people casually threw the word around irked me. 

There had been plenty of times I felt blessed, but I would revert back to thinking if I was truly blessed I wouldn’t keep struggling with feeling like this. Then I remembered the day I could say I was blessed and not take it back. It was shortly after the dark heavy cloud of grief was lifted, a few weeks before the ninth anniversary of Nicholas’s death. Where there had been only gray clouds, the sun was starting to peak through. I could wear colors other than black. I could laugh and not feel completely guilty. And I could take a deep breath without feeling pain. I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath for nine years. Wow! It felt so good to just be able to let it out.  

Don’t get me wrong, I still have days I struggle and grieve. But now when I start remembering God’s yesses, I have a hard time stopping. He literally holds all of creation together with His hands. He gave me life and eternal life and a beautiful family with a husband who loves me and children I don’t deserve. I grew up in a loving home (not perfect as none are), but I had everything I needed and much of what I wanted. He forgives me over and over for the same things with which I continue to struggle. And He is preparing a place for me to be united with all His children who will look fully in the face of Jesus and not be reduced to ashes. I don’t need a mansion in heaven, but I am asking for a room with a view. 

Born Again to a Living Hope 

Recognizing when God says yes looks a lot like being thankful. Which makes sense because giving thanks, counting things for which I am thankful, is what pulled me out of the pit of despair when I was at my worst. Day after day, as I forced myself to count gifts, God did a work in my heart that helped me not stay angry that He had said no.  

Do I still have a thankful heart when He says no, continuing to recognize His no’s are for future and better yesses, even if the stakes are high? He is still working on me. And maybe feeling blessed is really living with hope. I am living in a hard world but not overcome by the suffering because I have the certain expectation that God will be faithful to do what He promised. His mercies are new every morning. As I meet Him at First Light, He always shows up, even on the cloudy days. 

³Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, ⁵who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 
1 Peter 1:3-5 ESV