Because I have suffered greatly grieving the loss of a child, I do not feel like I should ever have to suffer again. That amount of pain should last a lifetime. I get a little angry if I am asked to suffer even in the slightest. Righteous indignation wells up within me if things don’t go my way. I struggle with fear that I could fall back into the pit if I am feeling the least bit moody. What are normal life experiences become overly scrutinized when I take my eyes off Jesus and say what He has for me today is not good enough. Because what I am really saying is, I fear He is not going to come through for me, and certainly not quickly enough. And that is when the Holy Spirit speaks gently to me to say, “there it is.” Then I realize it is not that I do not trust God’s power or ability. It’s that I fear how long I am going to have wait for it. Or that when it does come, I am not going to like the path on which He is taking me. As if I know better than the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe. Sometimes my real problem is God is not working fast enough, and the struggle feels larger in the waiting.
Psalm 40
Over the coming weeks and months I am writing a Bible study from selected Psalms that I plan to teach in the Fall to a Ladies Bible Study at my church. I want to reflect on what I am learning here as I go.
Psalm 40 is the first in this series of Cries of Praise from the Psalter. It is very personal for me. The first three verses have become my life verses. They proclaim clearly the work God has been doing in my heart and life, the public suffering, but also the occasion for praise. How is God getting me to the point of realizing His kindness is greater than the suffering?
I waited and waited
Like my brother David, I had occasion to wait on the LORD. The English Standard Version that I use says, waited patiently. I have struggled to say I was very patient. The commentary I am consulting by Derek Kidner says that patiently is too placid. 1 I leaned in as he said, “it should read, I waited, waited.” As if to emphasize the need for waiting while you are waiting. What is it about waiting that is so hard for impatient people like me? Maybe it exposes what I already struggle with. I want everything to be resolved neatly and quickly and in a way that makes sense and I can see the benefit from immediately. How many times had God already used waiting to refine me?
I do not know how long David is there, waiting on God. But he makes it clear that God does hear his cry and bends down close to listen. Then He draws him up to set his feet on a rock. The image of which makes me think David was feeling stronger, taller even because the rock he was standing on was sure and certain. The result is a new occasion for a song of praise to God. David gets to see the purpose for the suffering -that others will see what God did for him, producing a healthy fear of God, so they put their trust in God alone. This is the good news of the Gospel! What God did for David, He will do for me too.
God wants my heart
Ok At first glance, I am not sure what to make of verse six. It says God does not delight in sacrifice and offering and He has not required burnt offering and sin offering. Wasn’t this written at a time when these offerings were exactly what was required to atone for the sin of man?
As I read my study Bible for clarification I discovered the Old Testament sacrificial system did not work apart from a heart ready to listen and obey God’s Word. God’s people could not do whatever they wanted and say, here is a sacrifice to pay for what I have done, but then never express their faith with repentance and obedience. (ESV) God delights in me bringing my heart and will to Him as an offering.
God is the God of my Salvation. He is faithful in His steadfast love to deliver me from the great dangers my enemies pose. David gladly tells of this good news. He can’t restrain it from his mouth or hide it in his heart. Like my brother David, neither should I conceal my public cries of praise.
Because I forget
The problem with feeling like I have suffered enough and should never have to suffer again is, I am finding, I am prone to forget. And there’s still a lot of work to be done to make me more like Christ. I do wish suffering was not the best means to get me to do what I should already be doing. But then the Holy Spirit gently reminds me Jesus Christ had to suffer in order for His Father’s work to be completed in Him. And even though He asked for the cup of suffering to be removed, His response in Luke 22:42 was, “not My will, but Yours be done.”
So here is my brother David saying, “I am in need again, O LORD. Please help me.” He praises the LORD for His mercy, steadfast love, and faithfulness. All the while he feels more evil than he can count encompassing him and threatening to overtake him. It is hard to say how long this goes on, but it’s long enough that he says in verse 12, “my heart fails me.” He then draws on what he remembers of God’s past faithfulness to inform how God will respond to his current need.
Is it okay to ask God to punish my enemies?
As David cries to the LORD to make haste to help him, his distress comes at the hands of those eager to hurt him and then gloat. Is David being vindictive when he asks God to punish them in verses 14 and 15?
God will use hard things in my life to turn me to Him. It is not for others to seek to snatch away my life, physically or figuratively, as they take delight in my pain. That is what was happening to David. He is just in asking God to punish their scorn without taking matters in his own hands. I find this interesting given the warrior he was. He asks God to bring them to shame, dishonor, and ultimately be appalled when they say, “Aha, aha!”, as if they caught David in some snare.
David’s response is to seek God and rejoice and be glad because of His salvation. Kidner says, “To compare what I am with what Thou art is a steadying thing.”1 May I never get over it! Great is the LORD!
My Conclusion
At the time of writing this Psalm, David is currently poor and needy. In the opening verses he is recalling his cries for help and remembering God’s ultimate response to rescue him. Here he is stating that even though he is in misery, he continues to trust God for help. But he adds, “please don’t delay.” What is remarkable to me is how remembering God’s past deliverance completely changes my perspective on the confidence I have in His deliverance for the present struggles, which will continue this side of heaven. When, not if, they occur, may I rest in His character not my own, because His character doesn’t change. God’s past faithfulness informs my present willingness to endure. I do hard things because that is what is asked of me. And in the doing I come to realize I am stronger than I ever thought possible. Because it is not my strength I am relying on. Hence the need to keep crying out as I see myself in light of who God is to steady me.
My Help and My Deliverer
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.
40 I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. 2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.
4 Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! 5 You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.
6 In sacrifice and offering you have not delighted, but you have given me an open ear.[a] Burnt offering and sin offering you have not required. 7 Then I said, “Behold, I have come; in the scroll of the book it is written of me: 8 I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.”
9 I have told the glad news of deliverance[b] in the great congregation; behold, I have not restrained my lips, as you know, O Lord. 10 I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation; I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation.
11 As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me! 12 For evils have encompassed me beyond number; my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me. 13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me! O Lord, make haste to help me! 14 Let those be put to shame and disappointed altogether who seek to snatch away my life; let those be turned back and brought to dishonor who delight in my hurt! 15 Let those be appalled because of their shame who say to me, “Aha, Aha!”
16 But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation say continually, “Great is the Lord!” 17 As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!
